This is one of the most astonishing and hilarious and sad things I've read in a while. To all my friends who went to Newport High School and took an AP test, this is what the world is coming to...
Here's a sampling of my favorites:
Here's a sampling of my favorites:
Between 1964 and 1975, eleven years passed.I tend to agree with the idea that AP test results are becoming "dumber" as a result of school district policies that mandate enrollment in classes, not unlike the policy my beloved former Bellevue School District superintendent Dr. Mike Riley supported. However, he neglected to realize that once you force every kid to take AP, you get crAP. After all, once everyone is pushed beyond the norm, then it quickly becomes the norm again, just with a fancier title.
At Kent State, four people were shot by the Federal Reserve.
The French lived by the simple creed, "When in Rome, do as the Indians do."
Before 1776, the U.S. did not have a stable government; in fact, it didn't have a government at all!
Although the gilded age is regarded as the birth of American industry, 1815 to 1860 is when she got pregnant.
The Confederates used cotton to get King George to support them against the North. That's how he became known as King Cotton.
Canals were nice, but railroads were freakin' awesome.
The South is the skidmark on the underpants of America.
Poll taxes kept blacks from voting, just like AP classes keep kids from college.
In conclusion, the election of Andrew Jackson in 1828 marked the end of oh fuck it says 1928.
1 comment:
The linky is not working.
But I assume it was an article of such gems in the AP essay section?
I personally loved my AP classes, but I know it's not the norm and I'm just as against the mandatory attendance of AP tests as any other anti-AP kid. But some these one liners are surely not caused by AP classes killing intellectualism but merely bright students bored by the norm.
I know that in my AP Biology essay with the prompt "Why is death important in evolution?" I puzzled over what exactly they could be asking, wrote my essay, realized it seemed really short, and then padded it with a theological sermon that God intends man to be greater than the angels, and without death, the Resurrection (and thus breaking of the bonds of mortality and physical imperfection) could not occur and the evolution of man from crude to divine could not happen.
Of course, I was a snarky, sarcastic high schooler, and some of them certainly are very snarky and sarcastic. Some of them are just pretty silly mistakes (I would, by the way, cringe to see a Flash video of Greenspan gunning down people. It would just be too bizarre for words). But also, when given only about 30 minutes to write an essay, you tend to write down silly statements such as the King Cotton statement just so that the AP graders cannot mistake you know your stuff. You want to cover your bases, not write a masterpiece.
AP kids tend to get around the rules and what we would conventionally call good writing. I remember an AP grader/teacher tell me that AP graders can't actually dock you for things you don't get right, but only give you points for things you do get write. So I wrote some ridiculous statements: "This is an anaerobic process. This is an aerobic process." (So that nobody doubts, I got a 4 on my AP Bio test). AP essays are hardly works of art or literature; they are kids under a lot of stress trying to complete the fastest essay they've ever written in their life.
Then again, I can be jumping to conclusions because the link doesn't work (I'd love to read it), but I think these sentences taken hilariously out of context should not be held against kids who are simply trying to do their best and are frustrated by some of the hoops they are required to jump through (i.e. the essay question on the AP Computer Science test. Essays? For programming? What?).
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